Player Profile for Tim Clarke
Name: Timothy David Miller Clarke.
Born: Nottingham, 29th May 1967.
Nicknames: Bo, Doris, Sponge.
Role: Serving beer as slowly and sarcastically as possible!
Highest Score: 86 vs Old Nottinghamians.
Best Bowling: 6-18 vs Engineers, Long Eaton, Evening League (play was interrupted by a single mother pushing her pram across the pitch).
Hairstyle: Modern romance look (early eighties), but at least has some style.
Height: 5’11’’ (6’5’’ on Friday nights when dressing up for bedroom games).
Weight: 9 st 4 lbs.
Favourite Ground: West Park, Long Eaton (listening to 3 marching bands whilst playing).
Cricketing Career Highlights: Stumping a 73-year old on tour and then telling him to **** off when he said he had never been stumped before in his career.
Professional Cricketing Hero: Shane Warne.
Amateur Cricketing Hero: Charlie Young.
Ideal Profession Away From Cricket: Grass cutter, sorry groundsman!!!
Favourite Film: Four Weddings and a Funeral. (Reminds me of Attenborough CC except it should also have 23 divorces).
Favourite Song: "A Town Called Malice", The Jam.
Favourite Food: Beef Wellington.
Prettiest Girl In The World Is: Deborah Sealy.
Best Cricketing Cliche: Get yer tackles in early..whites...
Shower Buddy: Shelby.
Relationship Status: Living together as husband and wife.
Favourite Shot: Dob to third man, or that dodgy Spansh liquor behind the bar.
Favourite Quote/Advice: "All women are mad", Bryan Aplin, 1997.
Pre-Match Routine: Take shutters down...pull beer off...wash hands!!!!!!!
Favourite Position: From behind (giving or receiving).
Car Driven: Lexus IS200.
Most Intelligent Team-Mate: Thin Neil.
Least Intelligent Team-Mate: Jacob Prentice.
Best Friend Within The Club: Mick Aplin.
Favourite Sports Teams: Derby County, Nixon Knowles Sunday Morning Football Club.
What Do You Bring To The Side?: Very little...like most of the 1st team!